Heart Week: Why I’m dating my own regulated nervous system.

Would You Date Yourself? + A Special First Look 🕒

Valentine’s Day is this Saturday, but for those of us who grew up as the “petrified first-born” or the “parentified child,” Heart Week starts with a confronting question: Would you date yourself?

I take myself on dates all the time. Not because I’m lonely, but because I’ve finally built a safe space that isn’t reactive. Until you find someone who has done the hard work of detoxing the traumas and triggers stored in their tissues since birth, you are just inviting a reactive soul into your clean air.

Your body keeps the receipts.

If you aren’t passing that “one smooth banana” shape after 8 hours of deep sleep and after you eat, your body is still in a state of internal war.

You cannot heal a mother-wound or father wound with a box of chocolates. This week, put the oxygen mask on yourself.

Love your cells back to health.

🕒 A Piece of Peace for Your Home

As I celebrate my 3000th day of Addiction Peace yesterday, I’ve been designing daily reminders to help us stay grounded.
These “Path to Peace” clocks will be available soon at the Peaceful U store, and I would love your help!

Which one speaks to your soul?

• The “Heartbeat of Peace”

• The Soft Pastel “NOW”

• The Minimalist “11:11” Green

To vote: Simply hit reply to this email or drop a comment in the Substack app and let me know which design you’d want on your wall. I welcome constructive feedback as well, don’t be shy! :) These are for you.

Am I the only one who still loves a nice mindful clock? I am not attached to my phone or devices because they cause harm to our high-sensing bodies. I prefer to look at the wall and see the “Heartbeat of Peace” rather than a screen of notifications.

🕒 My 3000th day of Addiction Peace has taught me one thing: You cannot heal in the same environment that made you sick.

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🌿 De-Stress with Dee Tip: You are the Medicine

If you are dealing with anything chronic, it is because you are under chronic stress and were likely born with a compromised immune system. This is especially for the “competitive holistic moms” who have clean labs and do “all the things, taking the right supplements and managing your stress,” yet you and your children are still sick.

Your kids are stressed, too. To shift the energy of your home, start with these small, soulful shifts:

• Humming & Love: Start humming and doing every task with love.

• Tactile Gratitude: When washing dishes, really feel the water. I rarely use scrubbing tools; I connect my energy and gratitude for the simple ability to wash a dish.

• The Flow of Connection

  • Quiet Acts of Service: Shovel a neighbour’s path before they wake up. Smile at those you pass on your walks.

  • The Shared Thread: These aren’t just chores or gestures; they are reminders that we are all connected. We are all nature.

  • The High-Sensing Soul: This is why we feel a deep, physical sadness when a tree is cut down—and why we find our grounding by hugging one. It is our direct connection to Mother Earth.

  • The Vital Question: If you are not connected to your own soul—nurturing it with non-toxic food and drink—how can you truly expect to connect with another in peace?

• Connection: Hum to your pets, especially at meal time for the anxious pets who eat too fast and rub their tailbone:)
  I match Thumper’s purrs while we dance during my midday breaks.

The Hard Truth:

We can’t put new toxins in while detoxing old toxins out.

Your body is already overloaded with trauma and triggers stored since birth. I have been detoxing for two years because I was allergic to the air I was breathing while loving toxic souls and had a lifetime of trauma to release.

My first month Sept. 2024, I cried in bed while fasting for three weeks.

If you have histamine overload, CIRS, POTS or MCAS even “healthy” teas might be too much. Stick to water and pure intention. Stop pushing. Start protecting.

You are the medicine. You are Loved.
It’s not ’Menopause’ but we must pause so these years can be a breeze and your golden years can overflow with ease, vitality and grace.
Let’s make your second season the most soulful yet. 💛🌿

Happy Heart Week. For me, heart day is every day. Loving your leaky soul back to health is the greatest gift you can give yourself. What you are seeking has been within you all along.

Sending Loving Kindness from my heart to yours,

Momma Lovey Dee
Mothering the Unmothered
PS: If you are dating, listen to your skin.

Goosebumps are the "yes." Butterflies are often a warning of danger—a trauma bond in disguise. Choose the peace that helps you fly.