A High-Sensing Soul’s Guide to Seeing the Patterns, Protecting Your Peace & Coming Home to Yourself
I didn’t even know the word narcissist until I was sitting in marriage counselling.
The therapist looked at my husband and then at me.
He said something I will never forget.
“He is a narcissist. You’re going to need a lot of support.”
I had spent much of my life forgiving people.
Helping them.
Fixing them.
Giving them another chance.
Then another.
And another.
As a High-Sensing Soul, I could feel everyone’s pain. I could see the wounded child underneath the behaviour.
But I didn’t know that understanding someone’s wounds doesn’t mean you have to keep volunteering to be wounded by them.
The Question That Stopped Me Cold
One thing I noticed in some of the people I loved was a strange relationship with the idea of values.
I remember asking one of my exes about his values.
I got a blank stare.
He looked off into the universe and asked:
“What is a value?”
That moment stayed with me.
Because values are supposed to help guide how we live.
Honesty.
Kindness.
Respect.
Responsibility.
Loyalty.
Compassion.
Accountability.
Integrity.
Of course, not knowing how to define the word values does not make someone a narcissist.
But in my own life, I began noticing a painful pattern:
some people could say all the right words while their behaviour showed me something completely different.
That’s why I don’t want you trying to diagnose people.
I want you to watch the patterns.
What happens when you say no?
What happens when you have a need?
What happens when it’s your birthday?
What happens when you are sick, grieving or struggling?
Do they ask, “How are you?”
Or do they only ask, “Where are you?”
Can they apologize?
Can they take responsibility?
Do their words match their actions?
And perhaps the biggest question of all:
Who do you become when you are around them?
Do you feel peaceful?
Or are you walking on eggshells?
Do you feel safe?
Or are you constantly waiting for the shoe to drop?
For many of us, chaos feels familiar because chaos was our first classroom.
We became the parentified peacekeepers.
The firstborn fixers.
The petrified perfectionists.
The people-pleasers.
We learned that keeping everyone else happy was how we survived.
But eventually, you have to ask:
Who is taking care of you?
That is what this week’s Sober SoulCare deep dive is about.
🎥 Watch the full video on YouTube:
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High-Sensing Soul’s Narcissist Recovery & Dirty-Dog Detector Guide:
Narcissist Recovery & Dirty-Dog Detector for HSBPs
You do not need to become hard.
You do not need to stop loving.
You do not need to stop forgiving.
You simply need boundaries strong enough to protect your softness.
I don’t want another young soul waiting until 50 years old to learn the word boundaries.
Your kindness is not the problem.
Your self-abandonment is what we are healing.
Because the soulmate you may have been searching for your entire life?
Sweet soul…
It may have been you all along.
In loving kindness,
Momma Lovey Peace 💜
Mothering the Unmothered leaky Soul | High-Sensing SoulCare | PeacefulU™