On the eve of my miracle boy’s 28th birthday, a reflection on motherhood, self-soothing and root cause sleep health — with a new deep dive and free histamine guide.
Twenty-eight years ago today, I was in labour.
Tomorrow, Noah turns 28.
We fought hard to be here. Perhaps you did, too.
Perhaps you are reading this as a High Sensing Soul who hears, smells, tastes and feels so much. Sounds others barely notice can overwhelm you. Certain textures, foods or scents can feel like too much.
Perhaps you have lived on high alert for as long as you can remember.
And perhaps, somewhere beneath all that vigilance, there is a child who needed more mothering.
A child who never learned how to soothe themselves to sleep.
How to soothe their sorrows.
How to meet their suffering with tenderness.
To be human is to encounter suffering. Learning how to care for ourselves within it is a practice.
A Mother Who Was Learning To Mother Herself
When I learned I was pregnant with Noah, I was petrified.
He was deeply wanted. The fear came from wondering whether I knew how to give him what I had needed.
Would he like me?
Would he feel loved?
Could our home feel safe?
Growing up, I often felt unloved by my own parents. My roots were tangled in chaos and becoming a mother brought those old fears to the surface.
Since the 1980s, I had been learning to mother myself through nourishment, movement, Buddhist practice and what I call autophagy lifestyle medicine.
Pregnancy gave that learning a new purpose.
I devoured the What to Expect books. I wanted to understand this little human arriving into my care. His needs mattered. His surroundings mattered. The way he experienced love mattered.
Even now, it baffles me that we can enter such an enormous responsibility with so little preparation in child development, emotional care and our own inherited patterns.
Parenting education deserves a meaningful place in preparing for parenthood.
And a gentle reminder: each child can experience a different relationship with the same parent. Their experience deserves to be heard in its own right.
My Gift That Keeps On Giving
Noah remains my gift that keeps on giving.
His wisdom has taught me so much about care, connection and the everyday foundations of well being.
He never even had the “terrible twos.”
I took time off work for his first 10 years to make sure he got the necessary sleep needed for brain development.
17 hours during the first 2 years alone.
Not all at once but with 2 naps.
At almost 28, I’m still waiting for those terrible two’s.💜
Noah and I have not had one arguement. We are both peacemakers and keepers of the peace.
You wouldn’t know anyone lived in our home.
Noah, his gf and myself love and thrive in peace.
The foundations of DBM-5™ grew partly from how I raised him during those crucial first five years: paying attention to nourishment, surroundings, rhythms, reassurance and sleep.
Mothering him also helped me recognize what the younger parts of me had needed.
Who Soothes the Soul Who is Always on Duty?
Today is Sober Soul Peace Sunday.
It feels fitting to speak about the ways we learn to soothe ourselves — and what happens when we reach adulthood without having felt consistently soothed.
For the parentified firstborn, caregiver or High Sensing Soul, there may always be another sound to investigate, another need to meet or another problem to solve.
Then bedtime arrives.
Your body is exhausted. Your attention is still on duty.
This week’s deep dive, Mothering the Unmothered™: Leaky Soul, Cells & Sleep, brings compassionate curiosity to that experience.
We explore:
🌿 Histamine, histamine overload and questions about disrupted sleep
🌿 Nervous system hypervigilance and sensory overwhelm
🌿 The air you breathe and the environment where you rest
🌿 Relationships, boundaries and the demands you carry into bedtime
🌿 Gentle self-soothing and root cause health detective work
Sensory experiences alone do not identify a diagnosis and insomnia can have several contributors. The invitation is to notice your patterns and seek understanding of your own experience.
Sleep is sacred medicine
Your body is your sacred temple.
“You are the medicine” is an invitation to participate lovingly in your care: nourish yourself, protect your energy, listen to your needs and receive support.
Mothering the Unmothered™ means learning to offer your inner child loving attention.
In my spiritual teaching, this includes caring for the Soul that never dies.
You deserve tenderness at the end of the day.
You deserve opportunities to practise rest.
Watch this week’s deep dive
The video is available now for Sunday, October 18 at 7:00 p.m. Eastern.
👉 Watch here:
Your free Sleep, Histamine & You guide
The accompanying Sleep, Histamine & You: A–Z Health Detective Guide is available now.
Download it, keep it nearby and return to it as you explore your own questions about sleep and whole-body wellness.
👉 Get your free guide:
Sleep & Histamine: AZ Health Detective Guide
A home for your Pocketbooks of Peace
PeacefulU™ is growing into a home for free wellness guides, Pocketbooks of Peace and future DBM-5™ self-guided education, alongside other Soul peace offerings and our Geese for Peace merchandise.
Its purpose is clear: helping you connect the dots in your own care through accessible, frugal root cause whole body & Soul education.
There is already more than a year of reflections here in Dee’s Dharma, alongside videos on YouTube to support your learning.
Begin wherever a question speaks to you.
👉 Explore the guides and offerings:
Tomorrow, I honour Noah.
Today, there is gratitude for everything mothering him has taught me — and tenderness for every Soul still learning how to mother themselves.
Happy almost-birthday, Noah. Thank you for being you. 💜
May you feel safe.
May you receive loving care.
May you rest in peace now while living.
Sending Loving Kindness from Canada’s Capital,
Dee Anne Berry — De-Stress With Dee
Root Cause Buddhist Biohacker | Primal Personal Trainer since the 1980s
Creator of PeacefulU™ & DBM-5™ | C-PTSD addiction peer support
peacefulu.com