Mould Illness & Motherhood: What If It’s Not You… But Inflammation?
🕊 A Soul Offering for Mother’s Day
Today I’m sharing something sacred.
Not just a funeral video on youtube—but a wake-up call.
A soul offering.
A love letter.
My mom passed during the pandemic.
No hugs. No “I love you.” Just like in life.
She once asked me to be her death doula.
But she chose MAiD and I couldn’t be there.
It was an ambiguous loss—quiet, unresolved, heavy.
The irony?
On April 17—the day she entered the hospital—I was helping promote a fundraiser for Queensway Carleton Hospital. One of our favourites.
She’d donated too.
She believed in care she never received.
When Healing Becomes Harm
A week before, she was given an antibiotic—with no probiotic.
No gut support. No recovery plan.
Just a fragile system pushed too far.
I nearly followed the same path.
At 58, I was prescribed my first antibiotic. But I knew better.
As someone healing holistically since the ’80s, I understood:
A body in crisis needs balance—not more harm.
We must restore the microbiome, not wreck it.
Antibiotics were meant to help her. Instead, they wiped out her good bacteria.
No probiotics. No real food. Just more symptoms.
A cure became a curse.
I speak now—for her, for me and for all the firstborns who became caretakers before they were held.
A Hidden Wound Medicine Missed
Mainstream medicine missed the root of her suffering.
Mould exposure.
She lived in damp homes for decades—fatigue, brain fog, sinus pain.
Never tested. Never believed.
Mould mimics everything and is often missed.
Histamine intolerance.
Simple foods triggered hives and panic attacks.
They called it anxiety. We now know better—histamine storms are real.
The same thing happened to me.
I aced a stress test at 57 after a severe panic attack.
It wasn’t my heart—it was my gut-brain chemistry.
Womb trauma.
I carry it too.
Some trauma begins before birth—passed down in silence.
Our stories were dismissed for generations.
The system treated symptoms, not causes.
If someone had connected the dots, maybe she’d still be here.
A Channel of Love: De-Stress With Dee
I created De-Stress with Dee on YouTube last year.
A love letter—to my mum, my son and all we’ve lost too soon.
For the ones failed by systems not built to see the root of our suffering.
For the cycle-breakers.
For the womb-warriors and healers.
For those born already unwell.
A Spirit’s Passage
At her funeral, something beautiful happened.
A flock of Canada geese flew overhead in perfect V-formation.
They were loud. We paused the service.
And I felt her fly with them.
The sky shifted from grey to gold.
Grief met awe.
She was free.
Geese mate for life. They never leave one behind.
My nickname is Goose.
Ambiguous Loss & Shared Goodbyes
Later, I learned this grief has a name: ambiguous loss.
No final moment. No lasting embrace.
Just a call from a nurse telling me her plans and she didn't want anyone there.
Then silence.
She was gone. But I’m still in between worlds.
Maybe you are too.
Maybe you:
– Lost someone to MAiD or suicide—left with love and questions
– Watched someone fade from dementia or addiction—present but gone
– Missed a final visit during lockdown—held the memory, not their hand
If this resonates, you are not alone.
An Invitation
💔 How did you say goodbye—without letting go?
🕊 If you’ve lost a mother—or lost yourself being one—I see you.
You’re not alone.
🌼 Share how you’re feeling in the comments.
No filters. No faking fine.
Let’s de-stress together.
With love,
Dee – Your Death and Living Doula for Peace
Mould Illness & Motherhood
Dying with Dignity: The Inherited Illness No One Warns Daughters & Sons About
A Canadian Daughter’s Love Letter + Medical Mystery Uncovered
Many of us were born into mouldy, high-stress environments — military housing, subsidized homes, musty basements — without anyone realizing the lifelong effects. If you’re a firstborn, you may have inherited more than your mother’s smile.
You may have received her stress, inflammation, and body burden of hidden mould illness — especially if she was unsupported, overwhelmed, or silently unwell during your early years.
Did you Know?
mould passes through womb + breast milk
there are 9 birth stress scenarios that shape lifelong health and firstborns carry the highest toxic load
How mould mimics mental illness (anxiety, rage, panic)
The emotional legacy of being called "a mistake" or "a burden"
Why trauma, toxins and tenderness collide in firstborns, If your symptoms don’t make sense and you feel like you’ve been dismissed, this message is for you.
This is a tribute to my mother, Fran Ariel Russell (Oct 15, 1945 – May 5, 2021) —
and a truth-telling offering for anyone who’s ever felt unwell, unseen or like the family “problem.”
To the tender ones with tired bodies and invisible pain:
If you were the firstborn, the sensitive one, or the “too much” child…
If you grew up in chaos or mouldy walls…
If your mother loved you, but life still imprinted fear into your nervous system…
You are not broken.
You are not alone.
You are likely the one who inherited it all — stress, mould, trauma — and are now being called to break the cycle.This video is a love letter.
To my mom.
To my son.
To you.
Every post I share is a breadcrumb of peace for us trauma-born daughters and sons learning to live in wholeness.
Let’s rise in rest, not rage. Let’s heal in reverence. Let’s remember the root. With love under the Buddha Berry Tree,
— Dee, your Holistic Love & Peace Doula