š» Sober Soulcare Sunday: When Words Feel Like a Punch in the Gut
Hello Peaceful Heart, how are you doing from 1-10?
This week, I shared something tender and personal: letting go of a wedding dress I never wore. It wasnāt bitterness ā it was a ritual of gratitude for a karmic relationship that taught me so much.
A few hours later, my friends gently brought something to my attention: A comment on that post from an aquaintance had written:
> āYou need help.ā
I just giggled and said, āItās OK.ā
Iām leaving it there ā not out of passivity, but as a teachable moment. Because we donāt react. We protect our peace.
š That pain ā you know it, donāt you?
The sting of being dismissed. The ache of being misunderstood. The echo of childhood moments where your big feelings were too much for others to hold.
But hereās what Iāve learned as a Highly Sensitive Empath, a quiet observer, a survivor of C-PTSD:
⨠We donāt match energy.
⨠We manage ours like itās sacred ā because it is.
š§ Iāve loved many narcissists. Iāve learned their patterns.
They donāt want resolution. They want control. They speak to hear themselves, not to connect. Theyāre always right. Youāre always wrong. Thereās no room for dialogue ā only dominance.
But we know better now. We donāt carry their projections. We trust the Universe to handle what we donāt need to hold.
šæ Why do people sometimes hurt others with their words?
Because theyāre hurting.
They carry anger, fear, grief
or shame they donāt know how to face. So they push it outward.
They arenāt in touch with their own energy or peace. They donāt see how their words harm.
They often live without meaningful, safe relationships ā because they donāt truly love themselves.
š Why do people say mean things when I didnāt do anything wrong?
A message for your inner child ā and for our actual children:
When someone lashes out, itās rarely about you. Itās about the pain theyāre carrying ā pain they havenāt learned to feel, name, or release.
Imagine them holding a backpack stuffed with invisible feelings ā sadness, anger, fear. If they donāt know how to unpack it, they throw it at others instead.
š» Highly Sensitive Empaths (HSEs) are different.
We were often āparentifiedā as kids. We learned to care for everyone else but not ourselves.
So instead of hurting others, we hurt ourselves.
We turned to alcohol, sugar, screens, work, shopping ā anything to numb the pain.
We made ourselves small. Quiet. āEasy.ā We thought our value was in avoiding conflict and absorbing othersā pain.
But none of that healed us.
šļø What changes things?
We wake up. We realize no one is coming to save us.
We begin the daily work of reparenting ourselves:
⨠learning self-love
⨠building self-worth
⨠creating healthy boundaries
⨠healing our nervous systems
We choose to stop numbing and start feeling. We choose not to pass on our pain ā but also not to keep absorbing theirs.
š Youāre doing the brave work.
Youāre breaking cycles. Youāre learning to feel, to rest, to speak, to stay.
And thatās what makes you powerful.
š«¶ To the children watching you heal ā and the child within you still waiting to be held ā this is how we change the story. One pause. One breath. One boundary at a time.
š„ Watch the full video here on YouTube on how to protect your peace.
When Words Hurt: Empath Healing & Protecting Your Peace
With love and light,
Dee


