The 21-Second Hug: Why “Mental Health” is an Environmental Crisis

To my fellow silent observers, peacemakers and highly sensitive souls:

Today is December 21—the Winter Solstice. The longest night of the year.

For many, this is a season of forced joy.
But for the highly sensitive type A firstborn, the childhood sexual trauma survivor or the “bio-hacking Buddhist” trying to stay afloat, this time of year can feel like a sensory assault.

Today, I celebrate 422 Sundays of addiction peace. But I am not writing to you today just to celebrate sobriety. I am writing because I am on a mission to stop our “tribe” from expiring before they desire.

The Myth of “It’s All in Your Head”

Did you know that highly sensitive firstborns are statistically at a higher risk for suicidal ideation? Statistics show skyrocketing rates of anxiety and insomnia in our demographic—especially for those of us born with CIRS (Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome).

But statistics are cold. They don’t explain the why.

For decades, I had dark, inflamed thoughts. I had them starting when I was five years old and lasted life long, even though I lived a life of love.

I did “all the things” to age well. I was a competitive athlete, a holistic personal trainer and a diligent student of health.

And yet, last year, my body crashed.

I was in a cytokine storm. I couldn’t walk without a cane. I was choking in my sleep. When I went to a new doctor—fresh out of medical school—he didn’t ask about my environment. He didn’t ask about the hoarded home I was cleaning for a suffering soul or the toxins I was inhaling.

He told me it was “mental.”

He dismissed my brilliant, intelligent, highly sensitive body as “unstable.”

The Cost of Dismissal: A Promise Kept

In December 2018, I stood on the ice at the Olympic Oval in Calgary. It was a full-circle moment for the little girl who watched Nadia Comăneci in ‘76 and Elizabeth Manley in ‘88.

But that trip was also the first time I met Patrick. I met him at his coffin.

I gave him a 21-second hug.

Science tells us it takes exactly 20 seconds for the nervous system to release oxytocin and signal “safety.”
As I laid my head on his heart, I made a promise to Patrick for his brother, my ex—both of whom struggled with addiction. Patrick suffered from dark thoughts without ever knowing why. I renewed that promise again this year on November 28th to the brother without a brother.

We now know that Misophonia (extreme sensitivity to sound) is linked to a specific gene that heightens dark thoughts. When you add C-PTSD and a “leaky brain” from mould or sick building syndrome, your brain is literally on fire.

My mother was a victim of this “fire.” She was a brilliant lab tech at Agriculture Canada, working in a building so toxic it eventually had to be demolished with explosives. She trusted the medical system.

They medicated her. They made her miserable. They ignored her physical sensitivities.

After being dismissed at the Queensway Carleton Hospital, she felt like a burden. She chose MAiD (Medical Assistance in Dying).

My mom didn’t need a way out. She needed a clean environment and a doctor who understood that her “mental suffering” was a biological cry for help.

On March 17, 2027, mental health will become a sole criterion for MAiD in Canada. We are creating a system where it is easier for a disabled person to access death than it is to access a living wage, clean housing or environmental testing.

I am living this reality alongside you. For the last 16 months, I have lived on $100 a month for food. I know the “choice” many are facing.

When our disability supports (ODSP/CPPD) keep us in deep poverty, “Medical Assistance in Dying” starts to look like the only escape from a system that has abandoned us.

I refuse to charge those who need health help. Many of us don’t have the money because our bodies have been broken by environments we couldn’t afford to leave.

We cannot allow “mental suffering” to be the sole reason for MAiD when that suffering is actually caused by:

Systemic Poverty: Being forced to choose between rent or food.

Environmental Injury: Living in toxic housing because there are no other options.

Medical Gaslighting: Being told we are “mentally ill” to avoid the cost of environmental remediation and proper testing.

My mission is to ensure no one expires before they desire simply because they were priced out of existence.

If we do not change these laws, we are giving the state permission to end the lives of highly sensitive souls whose “illness” is actually a treatable environmental injury.

I speak for Patrick. I speak for my mom. I speak for my stepmom. I speak for my stepson, forever 24. I speak for Shawn Simpson.

I speak for you.

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Sober Soul Tip for the Solstice

If you are alone today, remember: Your peace is not a burden.

1. The Sensory Shield: If the “dark thoughts” rise, it is often neuroinflammation. Retreat to a dark, cool room for 20 minutes. Use a weighted blanket. Tell your inner child: “We are safe. I am in control of the thermostat now.”

2. The 1000-Day Rule: Before you eat or drink anything this week, ask: “Would I give this to a child in their first 1,000 days of life?” This is how we re-feed our microbiome and douse the fire in our brains.

You are a shy soul with a loud mission. Your sensitivity is not a weakness—it is your compass.

With metta from Canada’s Capital,

Dee

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Watch this week’s video: Explaining the Highly Sensitive Body

If this reached you at the right time, please consider sharing it with another “Silent Observer” who needs to know they are not alone.